skipped ten, fast forward to May

Friends,

I have not written in a long time. We have a walking, roaming, screaming tornado on our hands constantly, and with the craziest month of the year coming up, we are SWAMPED!

In the month of May we have

Wade’s 1st birthday, David and Dad are doing music and acting in a play, Dad’s one year anniversary of diagnosis, my baby sister is getting married (outside… in may!!!), Mother’s Day, my baby brother’s graduation for High School (WHAT?!), Josh’s graduation from Seminary (FINALLY!!!), and a trip to the beach right after that to round it all out. Oh yeah, and my birthday… and then a week later Josh’s birthday. And that just torpedoes us into a summer filled with camp, birthdays, parties, another beach trip and so so much more!

I am out of breath just typing that all out.

Wade is full on walking and getting into trouble everywhere he goes. He does some great sign’s for more, all done, and sometimes please. He has become quite the terror sometimes though and it has been comical to try to reign him in. He screams to get our attention and when he wants something, or when we say no. So trying to figure out how to deal peacefully, and for Wade to learn how to handle when we say no….or just not scream. Here are some pictures from our eleven month photo shoot.

Sweet

Silly baby

Love this of daddy and Wade

Two fingers constantly in his mouth

Loves his crib and blanket

Also, we have had much good news on Dad’s battle with cancer. In a nutshell swelling has gone down significantly and so they will continue to go on the path of treatment they are on currently. Feel free to follow along on his caring bridge site. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/wadewilliams2

Thanks for joining with us in celebrating all of these things in May and throughout the summer.

Sometimes things don’t go as planned…

As I sit here on this rainy January morning I am struck by many things.

1-the fact that tornado sirens were heard this morning for some in Atlanta, shouldnt we be having some snow?? Or at least some cold weather!?

2-This time last year, I remember taking a photo of my belly and saying something like, in 100 days I will see my little one, and in 100 days he will be one year old. Counting in days, and weeks will turn to years. I will be able to look back on this in ten, or twenty years and marvel at how fast time flies.

3-I struggle to write this part of my thoughts. I have written and deleted 5 different phrases for how I want to communicate this with you.

It is not “for whatever reason”, it is “In God’s plan”, but that does not make it any easier. As some of you know, Dad has been on a journey of brain cancer, a glioblastoma journey. Not fun. He had a great scan in November and we were so grateful to enjoy the holidays, semi cancer free. Last week, we got the news that there could be more new tumor growth. So many questions and so many decisions to be made this week are pressing in on my sweet parents.

As a daughter, I have a sense of fear, sadness, anger etc… But I have been thinking on how different this is for my mom. This is her husband. She loves deeply and feels things very passionately, so I cannot even imagine how horrible this is for her. There are so many trite “spiritual things” to say but I wont. I cant. Now is when I need to hang tightly to the promises I know to be true. Even though I do not feel it often with this journey. My father hangs tightly to these promises, as is evident in his life, to all the people who know him, and even those who have never even met him. Perimeter is doing a series on fear, and they made a video of my dad for the first sermon. It was filmed at his favorite place to walk right by their house.

I am confident my Lord is good because he gave me such a wonderful father. Even though this is one of the hardest journeys of my young life.

https://vimeo.com/57637684

eight

Here we are, arriving at 8 months old, and I still have moments where I look at Wade and think, is this real?? This isnt just a really long babysitting gig? 

Indeed, no babysitting gig, it is my little son—-who took 5 steps today, who loves blueberries, who has the biggest eyes I have ever seen, who “loves to scream” (with glee, with anger, with anything really), and who brings smiles, laughter, and unspeakable joy to this mama. 

We had such a great first christmas with ‘”bay-wade” as Judah calls him. He was at a really great stage and enjoyed opening his countless gifts. We also got to celebrate my little sister, and her engagement! Yaaay for Chelly and Bill! So excited for your wedding, we love you!

Here are our 8 month pics.. happy new year!!

 

six and seven

Here are some pictures of the adventures we are getting into here at the Smith household. 🙂

5 months, and some mistakes

I must apologize…

I wrote a 5 month post a day after little buddy turned 5 months (go me!) and then went to upload a bunch of photos and it didnt save it…ugh…and then got a little angry (read–FURIOUS) and then proceeded to get a little scolding from Josh and I stepped away from the computer. Almost 3 weeks later.. I decide to try again.

The post that I had almost finished went something like this…”blablabla he is so cute…blablalba he is so big…blablabla I cant believe he is 5 months…blablabla… I let my son roll off the couch. Yeah. You read that right, bad mother award goes to me. Although Im just going to take a guess here and say that I am pretty sure that MOST moms have done it, they just will not admit to it. So “bad moms” come on, join me here down by a little place we like to call grace. The water is fine.

Now that we are all caught up, lets move on to the fact that my bud has a tooth, is eating solids, almost crawling, rolling back and forth A TON, and laughs, squeals, coos, gurgles and gives me the best smiles EVER.

Full disclosure: despite the indescribable joy he gives me, motherhood is hard. I wanted this right?

 I literally was sitting at the table yesterday watching Josh feed him, tears streaming down my face–so tired, so overwhelmed–but a smile on my face. How’s that for crazy emotions!? With his amazing, and so sweet disposition, he is also such a small little guy and so we have had many a frustrating conversation with our pediatrician (and a million mom friends–you all know who you are THANK YOU!) about what we should do. All of that has added another element of stress to the already stressful undertaking of motherhood. You think that you have something figured out, and the schedule is right, the feeding is right for one minute… and then BAM… a tooth cuts through, a cold comes on, a nap doesnt last more than 30 minutes.. it is neverending. There is always something that is changing.

I am sure that most new mothers feel this way. I think though, there is a sense of arrogance when it comes to this for me. I can handle this, I can figure it out, I can do it. Let me tell you, it is NOT in my control. Wade is a daily moment by moment reminder that I am not in control. Also such a beautiful picture of grace.

All of this is true… but its also true that I LOVE being my sweet baby’s momma. I told Josh awhile ago that there has been no other job that I have worked, in my whole life, that I have felt this fulfilled in doing. Even jobs that I loved… there is something so peaceful knowing what you were ‘called’ to do.

With that, lets look at my sweet babes…

Our Covenant Child

My sweet baby became a part of my bigger/extended family today. We celebrated today as Wade was baptized. I cannot tell you how happy and blessed I feel. Today was incredible.

One of the many special moments of today was the fact that Dad was able to lead us in worship at church. I was overwhelmed. The fact that a few months ago his life was hanging in the balance and now today he was singing and leading us into worship and holding the water to help baptize my son… its almost too heavy and incredible to think about. There are NO WORDS to describe the joy that I have felt all day.

After church we were able to come back to our house and fellowship with family… it was just amazing. I felt such support and love from my extended family and we are so grateful.

THANK YOU, all. We love you…

“Frail children of dust, and feeble as frail,
In you do we trust, nor find you to fail;
Your mercies, how tender, how firm to the end,
Our maker, defender, redeemer, and friend!”

-Oh Worship the King

4 Months… a little late

So, when I am sitting feeding Wade, I always think about posts that I want to write, but then after nursing… life gets a little hectic. Im sure I wont stop saying that. So, until I get two seconds to write… I will post his 4 month photo shoot. 🙂 Enjoy

I just love your guts buddy…

3 Months!

Here is little Wade at 3 months old:

 

 

 

 

4 years of wedded bliss

Dear friends, I write to you today on the eve of our 4 year anniversary. At this time 4 years ago I was a very nervous bride, running through rehearsal for the big day. The best piece of advice I got on our day, was to savor and enjoy every. single. moment. And we did, and I remember so many special details of that day celebrating our love.

We have moved 4 times, lived in 3 different states, between the 2 of us we have worked over 11 jobs, oh yeah…and had a baby.

Woah. I cannot even imagine what the next 4 years will be like.. hopefully just as crazy and fun! Lets walk down memory lane shall we?

First time Josh met the fam, RIGHT before we started dating

Engagement, duh, on Christmas Eve !

REALLY. stinking. happy.

1 Year anniversary on the cruise

Two year anniversary right before Josh left me all summer!

Beach this past Christmas with little Wade in my belly!

Our precious family of 3. 🙂

I am SO so blessed to have these sweet boys in my life. Josh, I love you madly, and I am so excited about the next year of life with you. xoxoxo

MWAAAAH!

two

Two months. I cant believe it… Im sure I will say that as every month just flies by. I love you to pieces, my little squirt.

Also, happy birthday to Big Wade today! We are so thankful for such a good dad and Papa.